Sendin my love out to high school friends Willie Moreno and Gilbert Reyes. Finding out their father has moved on, passed on, entered the gate. Finding comfort, gaining understand always helps and yet I still find the sting. I just really really feel the understanding to say the ONLY thing death takes from us, is the skin of the one who went. Their spirit, their soul is more alive than any of us skin dwellers. Tight rope walking here....but I dare to carefully say depending on personal needs or your relationship with the one who moved on. Communication can still be...though it's more like prayers, in that all prayers are answered. Just not when we think they should be or when we want them, but when we need.
I don't have the formula, I can and love to share stories of my journeys towards connections, what works for me...might not work for you, Yet to know the possibility to connect, to feel something, to hear or get something, while death and loss, robbed, lonely, abandoned I have felt when someone went...I NEED to connect to move on. I NEED to know my person is ok. I am not settled until I get that. I can't be the only one ...that is why I speak. Also for the encouragement to anyone who might, like I feel scolded or hushed by a church or church people when connecting with someone on the other side, I do understand ...it is written...do not speak to the dead. I have lots of thoughts about this...To be dead, first of all, would mean soulness, as most if not all my people are still very much alive....just without skin. Second, To connect, to converse, is not to speak. To speak is to command and there is a difference.  A séance one would be speaking to the departed asking, urging, almost making the soul react. To commune is personal, and you'd be asking not commanding the departed to let you know they are ok. I would think love would be the drive to even want to communicate, where as a séance the drive is more often to entertain, to scare, to be haunted. Wait...one more. Always, for ever a prayer opens the door to the spirit side, so opening the door in the area of communicating does leave room for fears, for some confusion. I am not sure what to call the spirits that fool, taunt, or annoy....other than shadows or dark ones. Yet I'd never let the challenge keep my love or need of knowing my person was ok so I could be ok. Now I sound selfish...but it is what it is... how will I ever know, how can I get through my days right here right now, unless I reach out to find something I can hold onto, and I need real, I NEED TO KNOW, and hearing something is not the same as Experiencing your own connection. It all goes back to God or whatever you wish to call your source, your creator. Don't let what you call him or it or her be the hang up as whatever it is....that is what I'm talk'in about. Just like me Teri...most people call me Teri. I got my buddy bro who calls me Lynn. My sis calls me Turbo (sometimes). My ma calls me Jack (when I am bad....and that is all the time), Ruben calls me Cakes , uncles calls me Sweet Thing. Sometimes driving around I am called Bitch or Whore. I am just lil ole' me and look at the range of names I have. So Turbo loves you....well I don't know Turbo I love Cakes instead or Cakes is who I like...Jack is better ...she is bad all the time...However I am addressed or however I am expressed I am still me and they all are me, just some people created a closer bound by calling me something that no one else calls me, creating for us, me and them a place of union, and perhaps mankind did the same with God. Let us remember God being greater, the creator, we being his creation, can we ever out knowledge, or completely understand him? Even the brightest man, could not formulate a universe to hang, the waves the moon, the sun, the seeds to grow, the rain to come up from the ground or fall from the sky. Why we cannot try to understand other cultures not like us can be built with love, but fear of difference makes us conclude, that's not God! How the fuck would you know if God was someplace you've never been? In a place you never stepped, or in a religion you never embraced? You don't know. Bottom line for the sake of love and is not love God. Even I do not like religion, Yet I love God and I have to remind myself, not everyone is like me. God created all peoples, God saw in them a reason, a purpose, and whatever love I feel or am wanting from God, That person has the same love from God and needs the same love from God. What the difference is....we all want a piece of God that is our own. Personal pan pizza sounds good right about now!!!! Now selfish humans...everyone knows God is busy and doesn't have time for the BS! Just be programable and stick to the program! Man! Fuck that! Up yours! If God is....God can, if he knows me,,,,if he sees...if he is....can't he? Hell ya he can, meet me anywhere, anytime, whenever and also be personally mine!!! Always is the balance of good and bad, light and dark, yin and yang, positive and negative and even with God and in love. Good and bad creates the energy, is the charge, the necessity, for a plan we don't always see.